Beneficial Practices (Unit 8)

For the past weeks we were asked to explore numerous different meditation and visualization techniques and exercises and I found two of them to be very beneficial, some of them potentially beneficial (if I was going to practice them more), yet some were, and I'm sorry to say it bluntly like this, simply too out there for me at this point in my life.
The two exercises I feel might be, and will be in the future, the most beneficial to me are the subtle mind practice (unit 5) and the journey-on practice (unit 2), the reason being that I feel as if these two exercises kept it simple, I was merely asked to relax and not to imagine things (such as white lights or colors etc.). Since I feel that I am doing best with practices that help me relax and go within myself quietly, but not so much the ones that ask me to imagine or "do" things, I will continue to frequently listen to the Mp3's of "Journey-on" and "Subtle Mind Practice". I believe that it will be easy to implement these two practices into my daily schedule, because I am scheduling my "downtime" daily and have a steady rotation of meditations and visualization practices. The main benefit for me in continued practice will be a calming of my ever-moving mind, hopefully clearing the clutter of daily life and letting feelings of peace replace nervous habits and non-beneficial thoughts.

Dunja :)

The Beautiful Mt. Rainier in WA

Meeting Aesclepius. Or didn't I?

Wise people and white lights were the focal points of the meditative exercise for this week, I listened to "Meeting Aesclepius" and made my observations. First I noticed that when asked to picture a wise person whom I respect, I pictured my late Grandfather. I wanted to focus on him, but I seemed to be unable to keep my focus there, I was also unable to truly picture his face (he's been gone 16 years now), instead I thought of memories we made together in my childhood. Then my mind began to wander, to my Mom, my Dad, then to wondering what they are up to and that I should call them. It was very hard for me to calm my mind at first, and honestly I had a hard time really doing as I was asked to; white lights coming out of heads and throats etc., for some reason I just didn't put it together, although I sure relaxed.
Honestly, here is something I must confess, something that I have been contemplating all along.  When the meditation time is up, I open my eyes immediately and feel totally refreshed, yet I ask myself all the time if I was actually sleeping? The refreshed feeling might be a clue to myself that I am not sleeping, because I am the worlds worst napper and even 20 minutes leave me grumpy and hungover of sorts, therefore I never nap unless I can devote two or more hours to it. This weeks meditation was just like that, I relaxed and "let go" if that's what it could be called. My mind was still and yet I was observant, because I heard my kids bumping around upstairs even though they were supposed to be in bed sleeping, I was in a state of witnessing I believe. I don't think that I really know yet how to put it all together, the sleeping-or-waking part at least, I do know however, that I really enjoy putting my mind at rest like this for a small amount of time per day and look forward to continuing that. I think that meditation or even simple mindfulness practice has given me a new sense of calm and continues to do so anytime I choose, that is something hard-earned for me, as I am go, go, go all the time. Currently I am on day 7 of the Deepak Chopra Meditation challenge and this time around it is themed "Whole Health, Mind, Body and Spirit". Coincidental or not, it is very enjoyable and a subject I definitely plan on exploring further.

The saying "One cannot lead another where one has not gone himself" is one of my favorites, it has so many applications everywhere and everyday, especially in the health care field. How can an obese dietician be trusted to hand out sound nutritional advice? How can a psychologist "treat" an unwell person, if he or she is mentally unwell himself/herself? Is it possible for a physically unfit personal trainer to get an out-of-shape individual in the best shape of their life? I think it may be possible under very rare, select circumstances and yet highly unlikely. It is important for health care professionals to lead the way, to set an example and show patients that there is a healthy way, that there are alternatives and that in the end it will all be worth it. As professionals we have the obligation (not just to only ourselves, but also our patients and clients), to get and stay in shape, mentally, physically, and spiritually. Whole body health is very important and the failure to take care of all aspects of health and well being will lead to setbacks and discontent, closely followed by disillusionment.

I have been there and done that, I trained hard to get in the best physical shape of my life, only to lose it again when I burned out completely and took an enormous break and step back. The reevaluation of my goals took two years to complete and I needed this time to think about my mistakes and realize that I had not failed in my previous endeavors; I had just gone about things the wrong way and in the end my failures proved to be great sources of learning. One of the greatest things about failure and setbacks is the opportunity for realization and growth. My goal for the future is to expand on my spiritual growth by exploring mindfulness and meditation further, I also want to participate in yoga and keep myself mentally fit by continuing my education and studying other cultures, especially of interest to me is the religion of Buddhism. Physically I am now well on my way to regaining my strength and physical fitness, this time the smart and slow way, this way it is for keeps and to set an example and be an inspiration for not only my family and friends, but also for potential clients and even strangers.

Dunja :)

Relax.

Loving Kindness and the Attempt of Integral Assessment (U6)

Honestly, I had to read the chapter on integral assessment and loving kindness numerous times before I kind of "got it", I basically must assess myself first, find out what my strengths and weaknesses are and then develop each area from the ground up. Check. Or what? Well ok, maybe I am not quite 100% certain just yet, but I am on my way to slowly understanding the process. It just seems like so much (time-consuming) work to sift through all of these layers of my psyche and one has to wonder, when will it end and do I really have to ponder this? 
I never claimed to be a great thinker, I mostly do things that come naturally to me, so when I attempted to perform the loving kindness exercise it really took me several trials, I could never remember what I was supposed to ask next and keeping my eyes open and reading the page seemed like I cheated. The exercise asked us to get our minds and bodies into a natural state of rest and mentally repeat four phrases for 10 minutes, among them asking to free all individuals from suffering, as well as for them to find sustained health, happiness and wholeness. Furthermore I was to offer assistance in the same aforementioned matters. I hate to even admit this, but I feel like I am not really any good in asking for the spiritual health and happiness of people I don't know. I felt like I was faking it, but I realize I wouldn’t feel this way if I did this for people I know. For some reason I find it hard to wrap my mind around the notion, that my fervently thinking about others will make a hill-a-bean a difference to them. I also did not feel much different at all after I was done, rather puzzled somehow and a little frustrated.
This is where my internal assessment comes in I believe, I can see exactly that while I am good at relaxing my mind and body (most of the time), and good at including people I know in my meditations, I am not developed enough yet in my spiritual journey to fully and wholeheartedly include strangers. I know that this is a matter of development and advance and will be attained with practice and time. I suppose I need to practice more and schedule times to advance my knowledge. I was especially enthralled to read about the peak experiences. Dacher (2006) states that peak experiences are fleeting and that if we want more of them we must revisit these situations, which will lead to a dependence upon outer sources for peak pleasure experiences. I drew personal parallels on this issue, I was reminded of my fitness and bodybuilding journey, I used to rely on competitions to give me the thrill and the sense of achievement I sought, I felt like I was at the height of my game yet, when a certain event had come and gone I felt empty and left out, flailing about without focus or goal. Once I understood this about myself I realized that I had to develop other parts of me that were thus far untapped. This is when I decided to return to school and truly learn about things that were interesting to me; I found that I am passionate about nutrition, health and  wellness. I am trying to further my level of education, as well as my understanding and spiritual well-being by engaging my mind and spirit, while continuing to train and pursue a fit life as part of a healthy regimen. Overall I am trying to round things out, in order to bring about human flourishing within myself.
So for the time being I am going to try and find more time for meditating, I will continue to practice mindfulness, I will engage myself in environmental issues near and dear to my heart, I will learn more about the nutritional aspects of health, I will share my knowledge with family and friends and with that I am sure that one day, once I round out my knowledge and affirm my own spiritual self, I can and will find fulfillment in asking in meditation for the well-being, happiness and health of anyone on Earth.

 All at the same time: Beautiful Rainbows...

...and fiery skies!

 Dunja :)

References:

Dacher, E. S. (2006). Integral health: The path to human flourishing. Laguna Beach: Basic Health Publications Inc. 

Subtle Mind Practice (U5)

Holy Cow!! This weeks' audio exercise was actually really fun and relaxing! If I sound surprised to you then that must be because I quite frankly was, I didn't expect to be so relaxed and refreshed upon finishing the practice.
We were instructed to begin by relaxing and focusing on taking deep breaths, acknowledging passing thoughts, yet making ourselves return to our "anchor", being our breaths.  Once we found our mind relaxing we were to ease up on the focus on the breath and I found that at this point in my practice the other noises around me had faded in the background, quite a feat as I had kids watching TV, my husband playing computer games and my dog tossing his toy around. I somehow found myself really tuned in and mindful in a subtle way. It felt like what was going around me registered, but somehow didn't effect me significantly in that I did not think about it, or debate it, or mind it - in one word I felt peaceful.
Admittedly, when it comes to thoughts I am a "clinger", not a "witness" - it is second nature to me to debate every issue and thought in my life, an obstacle in terms of trying to become more centered and balanced. Today I felt for the first time though that it is actually possible to let go of thoughts and not let them affect me too deeply, rather to witness than to involve myself. In the end I felt so relaxed and almost questioned whether I was awake or sleeping during the exercise. In contrast to last week's loving kindness exercise I found that I was much more relaxed, because I was not asked to constantly evaluate something or replace thoughts, in fact I was only asked to let go of my thoughts, focus on my breathing and to still my mind, which I was fully able to do. The subtle mind practice was much more my style in terms of meditations, when I think of meditating I want to quiet my always busy mind and bring my body to a state of rest. In comparison to last weeks' exercise, I did not feel as if I was a failure this week to describe it rather dramatically.

I feel that my personal spiritual wellness had been neglected for a long time, partially due to a lack of knowledge. These days I realize that my mental and physical wellness very much hinges upon my spiritual well-being, I attain spiritual well-being not only by meditating, but also through the experienced happiness and wholeness in my family and marriage, through taking time for myself by reading books, and through the interaction with good friends. In taking care of my spiritual needs I have found it easier to function and thrive physically and with that I am much more sharp, yet at ease mentally. These three aspects truly belong together for me, I am glad to have realized this a while ago.

My mind felt like this today...

Dunja :)