Progress and Patience

I wonder if it is just me, but does anyone else feel as if it was just yesterday that we wrote the unit 3 blog post? That week we were asked to assess ourselves in terms of personal health and wellness and as such I had mentioned that my changes are coming along slowly yet steadily, this has changed just a little as of now as I have found renewed purpose and a great goal in terms of physical fitness. Have I yet gotten more sleep? Uhm, no, not quite yet however, I have been much more conscious of the hours. For one, I have made myself turn off the light upon crawling in bed, in fact I have started leaving my iPad downstairs at night, so that I am not even tempted to browse the web, read Facebook (where nothing is new anyway), or a book. I have gotten better with my regular meditations, but by no means has my practice even been remotely predictable, I hope time will be the answer and I am still vowing to make this a regular habit of mine.
As to my physical well-being, I am proud to report that I have been working with a trainer/nutritionist for about four weeks now and have been very compliant with my prescribed diet (yummy stuff, just no junk stuff at all) and BOY do I feel the difference, so much so, that I went out and bought myself new swim wear last week for my upcoming Hawaii vacation! It is absolutely amazing what just three weeks of full dietary compliance will do for ones self esteem, weight, fitness and well-being. In this respect as well I had to learn patience and come to the realization that true success is not one of those "flash-in-the-pan-starve-and-don't-eat-12-week-total-body-transformation" deals, anyone can pretty much do that (I say this with the conviction of having been there). Real success ONLY comes from being consistent and as my trainer just today wrote on Facebook in this true statement:

"Commitment is the thing you said you would do, long after the mood you said it in has left you."

These days my grade in physical well being has certainly gone up, I would safely venture to say, that it is now a nine, I am feeling wonderful, strong and energetic. My workouts are really coming along and muscular definition is slowly returning, my mojo is back so to say. I still have not gone to the yoga class, but plan on doing that down the road, for right now I am happy to say I go to the gym four times per week and that is right on plan. With this good diet/good workout schedule comes a noted improvement in my psychological well being, I am more confident, don't beat myself up and see things in a much brighter light, its probably all those endorphins kicking in?! Even my girls and husband noticed the difference.
The nice thing about going through all these processes is that I know first hand how it feels to be happy, sad, frustrated, curious and all the other emotions so commonly felt by everyone at one point in their lives - I feel that this knowledge, coupled with a solid foundation of traditional teachings, will help me one day become attuned to my clients and patients needs, subsequently being able to better assist them in finding their health, wellness and inner peace.

Live well everyone, respect yourselves, don't let the nitty-gritty of life get you down, and enjoy happiness wherever you can find it.

Dunja :)

A Plan to Holistic and Integral Health - Final Project

Introduction

“To be born and live as a human is a precious and rare treasure.” (E.S. Dacher, M.D.)

           Life is said to be short, yet I dare say it is also full of opportunities, as well as challenges. When life is good and we don’t feel as if there are any troubles, we are usually cruising right along and taking it all in, often without spending much thought at all on our long-term health and well-being. It is when things take a turn for the worse, when our health or the health of a loved one is failing, when stress gets too much and we feel like fiascos, that we find out the hard way whether or not we were prepared to overcome the hurdles put in our path. Our life and sanity depend very much on the state of our physiological, psychological and spiritual health and wellness, precisely those very areas that are most often sorely neglected in said “good times” to varying degrees. In his book “Integral Health – The Path to Human Flourishing” Dacher (2006) states that “we live blindly among unimaginable treasures, and at the end of our days, we leave life unaware of the great wealth and the great health that have always been right in front of us.” (p.7).  In the recent weeks and months I have come to realize, how important it is to consider health from a holistic and integral perspective and how I might have neglected a few too many things in my own life and which I should, regarding my own health and wellness, pay closer attention to from hereon out in an effort to live life in a more fulfilled manner.

As a future professional in the health and wellness field I understand that I will be at one point in the position to help patients and clients recognize their own shortcomings, change behaviors and benefit from a wholesome approach to life. In order to do my job as a health and wellness professional effectively and successfully, I must live these principles for myself day in and day out, because it is important to not only obtain theoretic knowledge of all manners of healing and care, but also to gain the confidence, conviction, and resulting credibility that comes from having experienced the many benefits thereof on my own. At this point in my life I feel mostly content; I am working on realizing my professional ambitions, I am raising a family with my husband, and I actively take care of my body and mind, yet I want to become calmer, less easily riled up and stressed out by random events in my life, and in the long term I want to become successful in my career by contributing in my own way to human flourishing.

In the following essay I will be assessing my own health in three domains: physiological, psychological (mental), and spiritual. I will establish a goal for continued development in each area, as well as list some practices I think may help me grow in each domain. Lastly I will expand on the matters of commitment and measurable progress, because my health is not a short-term matter, but a question of a lifelong responsibility and pledge to myself.

II. Assessment

           To assess my health status in each domain I enlisted the help of the four-quadrant model of health, as established by Ken Wilber’s “Integral Therapy” (Schlitz, Amorok & Micozzi, 2005, p. xxvii).  These quadrants are meant to represent the exterior and interior influences on health (left and right halves), as well as the individual and collective elements of health (top and bottom halves). The upper two quadrants are representative of the individual, as in the mind and the body, whereas the bottom two quadrats signify the exterior influences on our health, those being relationships (social) and the environment. Each of the quadrants has a close connection to each other; our life is not balanced if either aspect (or quadrant) is out of “whack”. Therefore I looked at these quadrants to determine my own level of health and wellness in each domain.

          

Physical domain

I can truthfully say that I am in good overall health and physical shape, I am not overweight, do not have any current health concerns, I don’t take any medications but for supportive herbal supplements and quality probiotics, and I follow sound nutritional principles. I can see one specific fault in my physical domain and that must be my lack of commitment to quality sleep many nights per week, I am truly the proverbial night owl. For the sake of naming a score I would rate myself to be at an 8 out of 10, because in my mind there is always plenty of room for improvement.

Psychological domain

As a military wife, mother of two young girls, college student and home maker I do have a lot on my proverbial plate, but I never once considered any of it a struggle, but a challenge. I feel that I have good coping skills, I am self sufficient, confident in myself and my abilities and I feel well grounded in my family life, as well as within my circle of friends. Most of the time it is easy for me to go about my days in a good mood (a fact I do attribute to regular exercise and a good diet) and take care of all my responsibilities. There are times however, when I can feel a stressful situation trying to get the best of me, those are the moments when I am known to get a little irate or louder in speech, in those situations of a flaring temper I am best off seeking solace, be that in the gym or at home on my own, if pushed too far and without being able to briefly recoup, I feel frazzled. Therefore, although I would absolutely describe myself as having a sound psychological make-up, I feel as if I must work on my coping skills in stressful situations. My personal score in this domain is consequently a 7 out of 10.

Spiritual domain

I do not practice a religion, so to think of my spiritual well being I had to consider what makes a person spiritual, it surely isn’t depending on ones religion or affiliations with a belief system! Or is it? What I realized upon contemplation was, that I am a fairly spiritual being nonetheless, for I am a true giver and have the good for people at heart.  I am usually the first to volunteer if I sense the need of anyone needing assistance, I deeply care about others and love helping everyone seeing themselves in a positive light, I have the ability to empathize, then to logically and positively influence peoples perception of themselves, often helping them recognize new paths more conducive to their goals and ambitions. Having very keen senses and being of sensitive nature helps me find my own deep fulfillment in having the satisfaction of seeing others succeed. My score in the spiritual domain could be considered a 6 out of 10; because there are many other ways I could explore to deepen my spiritual knowledge.

III. Goal Development

            Having assessed my physiological, psychological and spiritual wellness, I have also had a chance to actually think about the areas in each domain that invite or warrant possible improvement. To improve my physiological wellness I would like to extend and improve my exercise regimen to include more balancing exercises to counteract the weightlifting I do and to improve my core strength. Furthermore I would like to become leaner again and achieve this mainly by skillfully balance my diet in order to find out what works best for my body without having to resort to excessive cardiovascular exercise. The goal for me is to be healthy, lean and achieve a body that is running even more smoothly, like a well-oiled machine.  Moreover I’d like to add some lean muscle to improve my overall strength and body proportions. Last but not least, I’d really like to implement a better sleep routine and get my square eight hours per night.

My psychological wellness would benefit from my learning more efficient methods in coping better with occasional stressors. I would like to keep my temper even, my mind calm and my thoughts serene in light of life’s occasional fallacies, this would be of huge benefit to me for the rest of my life. In terms of spiritual wellness I could think of one issue that has come to mind often before, but I have dismissed or postponed this for various reasons. I would like to expand my capabilities for complete stillness and silence since my mind is often too busy and I worry too much; I would like to become a kinder, more observant and tolerant, as well as more open-minded version of myself.

IV. Practices for Personal Health

            I do not like to set goals that I don’t intend to reach, I am ambitious and it is in my nature to seek a solution to any problem and draw a “road map” to get there in the most straightforward manner. Subsequently I established the following practices to address each of my goals per domain, I fully realize that each practice will take time and I need to reign in my natural impatience and be consistent with my follow-through.

Physiological health and wellness: I recently have hired a well-qualified, reputable nutritionist and trainer, a person whom is now helping me re-learn, update, and fine-tune, my previous nutritional know-how and practice. This is not an easy task, as I have been previously immersed in and taught by, the world of conventional bodybuilding and competitions and of course I was stuck on the conventional (brutal) way of getting stage ready (= lean). I now realize how much depressing nonsense I have learned and adhered to before, and why all these old “tried and true” methods were not working for my body or my mind. I also have recently signed up at a local yoga studio, there I would like to take classes on my off days from the gym about 3 times per week, to improve my balance, core strength, and sense of calm and peace. I may be repeating myself, but I am a very night-productive person for sure and I seem to get most of my school obligations taken care off when the rest of the world sleeps, mostly because I want to be fully present when my family is around and not “hide” in my books. My goal therefore is to become a better planner, schedule my work times and go to bed at night at a decent hour, as more sleep will enhance all other areas of my being.

Psychological health and wellness: Since a lot of my stress issues usually arise when I feel pushed in a corner by strangers or acquaintances alike and react with anger, I feel that although this is a hard exercise for me to focus on, I’d like to continue learning about loving-kindness practice. Despite numerous attempts I have not been able to fully focus on extending loving kindness to anyone, probably because I felt silly imagining or projecting these feelings out from myself. I realize that this will take practice and to master it I am giving myself the time to get the hang of it. Another practice I find interesting and have actually found helpful during this past term is subtle mind practice which helps me calm my mind, I would like to achieve a calm-abiding mind, a state to which I can return to at will in order to gain calm and serenity in unusual situations.

Spiritual health and wellness: I have already established that I am not a person of faith, yet I would love to explore Buddhism and its peaceful, life enhancing teachings. I would like to find out for myself what being of Buddhist faith truly entails, it would help me understand what steps I can take to very simply enhance my relationships with others, how to do the right and calm thing, even though it may feel like turning the other cheek toward a person with a bad attitude. I truly believe if I could learn to keep my temper under cool and to not take every comment personal and let it get to me, I could be more balanced and subsequently happier with myself. Another practice I am determined to make a regular occurrence is meditation. I love to meditate and most always feel so calm and relaxed after I am done, thus I would like to deepen my knowledge and extend my education in that field. I will continue to meditate and try my best to make it a daily ritual, even if I am otherwise engaged or busy.

V. Commitment

                        Setting a goal and creating a comprehensive plan to achieve it are necessary and wise first steps in personal improvement. However, there are two vital components without which any good intention is doomed from the start: lasting, true commitment and consistency. These two components will make or break the success of any endeavor. I have learned a long time ago that good things take time and cannot be rushed; something truly worthwhile will often demand hard work, attention to detail, and personal accountability. I intend to approach my previously described goals with enthusiasm and a good plan. To keep myself in the know about my progress I will take body measurements every two weeks and send honest results to my trainer for review, I also am writing a daily journal about my training habits and fill out an online accountability chart meant to track adherence to my nutritional program. I have learned and understand now, that I cannot expect to make the changes I desire overnight. This time however I will do it correctly, all beginning by changing my mindset along with my habits, as it is often said that where the mind goes, the body will follow. It will be somewhat trickier to track the progress in my spiritual and psychological domains than the physical one, but it will not be impossible. I am planning on frequently noting my state of mind and specific circumstances into a journal, any event that triggers an emotional or stress response, as well as my reactions to them. With due process I hope to see my moods becoming more balanced, my stress levels going down and my happiness and energy staying high. I also set short term, mid term and long-term goals for myself and write them down. I don’t promise myself a trinket or prize if I reach a milestone, I just want to get there and I know that I am doing this first and foremost for myself, second for my family whom appreciates a great, happy family life as much as I do, and third for all the people that will cross my path in life, for they will benefit from my knowledge and experiences in the many aspects of integral healing and holistic health and wellness.

References

Dacher, E. S. (2006). Integral health: The path to human flourishing. Laguna Beach: Basic

  Health Publications Inc.

Schlitz, M., Amorok, T., & Micozzi, M. S. (2005). Consciousness and healing. St Louis, MO:

 Churchill Livingstone.

Beneficial Practices (Unit 8)

For the past weeks we were asked to explore numerous different meditation and visualization techniques and exercises and I found two of them to be very beneficial, some of them potentially beneficial (if I was going to practice them more), yet some were, and I'm sorry to say it bluntly like this, simply too out there for me at this point in my life.
The two exercises I feel might be, and will be in the future, the most beneficial to me are the subtle mind practice (unit 5) and the journey-on practice (unit 2), the reason being that I feel as if these two exercises kept it simple, I was merely asked to relax and not to imagine things (such as white lights or colors etc.). Since I feel that I am doing best with practices that help me relax and go within myself quietly, but not so much the ones that ask me to imagine or "do" things, I will continue to frequently listen to the Mp3's of "Journey-on" and "Subtle Mind Practice". I believe that it will be easy to implement these two practices into my daily schedule, because I am scheduling my "downtime" daily and have a steady rotation of meditations and visualization practices. The main benefit for me in continued practice will be a calming of my ever-moving mind, hopefully clearing the clutter of daily life and letting feelings of peace replace nervous habits and non-beneficial thoughts.

Dunja :)

The Beautiful Mt. Rainier in WA

Meeting Aesclepius. Or didn't I?

Wise people and white lights were the focal points of the meditative exercise for this week, I listened to "Meeting Aesclepius" and made my observations. First I noticed that when asked to picture a wise person whom I respect, I pictured my late Grandfather. I wanted to focus on him, but I seemed to be unable to keep my focus there, I was also unable to truly picture his face (he's been gone 16 years now), instead I thought of memories we made together in my childhood. Then my mind began to wander, to my Mom, my Dad, then to wondering what they are up to and that I should call them. It was very hard for me to calm my mind at first, and honestly I had a hard time really doing as I was asked to; white lights coming out of heads and throats etc., for some reason I just didn't put it together, although I sure relaxed.
Honestly, here is something I must confess, something that I have been contemplating all along.  When the meditation time is up, I open my eyes immediately and feel totally refreshed, yet I ask myself all the time if I was actually sleeping? The refreshed feeling might be a clue to myself that I am not sleeping, because I am the worlds worst napper and even 20 minutes leave me grumpy and hungover of sorts, therefore I never nap unless I can devote two or more hours to it. This weeks meditation was just like that, I relaxed and "let go" if that's what it could be called. My mind was still and yet I was observant, because I heard my kids bumping around upstairs even though they were supposed to be in bed sleeping, I was in a state of witnessing I believe. I don't think that I really know yet how to put it all together, the sleeping-or-waking part at least, I do know however, that I really enjoy putting my mind at rest like this for a small amount of time per day and look forward to continuing that. I think that meditation or even simple mindfulness practice has given me a new sense of calm and continues to do so anytime I choose, that is something hard-earned for me, as I am go, go, go all the time. Currently I am on day 7 of the Deepak Chopra Meditation challenge and this time around it is themed "Whole Health, Mind, Body and Spirit". Coincidental or not, it is very enjoyable and a subject I definitely plan on exploring further.

The saying "One cannot lead another where one has not gone himself" is one of my favorites, it has so many applications everywhere and everyday, especially in the health care field. How can an obese dietician be trusted to hand out sound nutritional advice? How can a psychologist "treat" an unwell person, if he or she is mentally unwell himself/herself? Is it possible for a physically unfit personal trainer to get an out-of-shape individual in the best shape of their life? I think it may be possible under very rare, select circumstances and yet highly unlikely. It is important for health care professionals to lead the way, to set an example and show patients that there is a healthy way, that there are alternatives and that in the end it will all be worth it. As professionals we have the obligation (not just to only ourselves, but also our patients and clients), to get and stay in shape, mentally, physically, and spiritually. Whole body health is very important and the failure to take care of all aspects of health and well being will lead to setbacks and discontent, closely followed by disillusionment.

I have been there and done that, I trained hard to get in the best physical shape of my life, only to lose it again when I burned out completely and took an enormous break and step back. The reevaluation of my goals took two years to complete and I needed this time to think about my mistakes and realize that I had not failed in my previous endeavors; I had just gone about things the wrong way and in the end my failures proved to be great sources of learning. One of the greatest things about failure and setbacks is the opportunity for realization and growth. My goal for the future is to expand on my spiritual growth by exploring mindfulness and meditation further, I also want to participate in yoga and keep myself mentally fit by continuing my education and studying other cultures, especially of interest to me is the religion of Buddhism. Physically I am now well on my way to regaining my strength and physical fitness, this time the smart and slow way, this way it is for keeps and to set an example and be an inspiration for not only my family and friends, but also for potential clients and even strangers.

Dunja :)

Relax.

Loving Kindness and the Attempt of Integral Assessment (U6)

Honestly, I had to read the chapter on integral assessment and loving kindness numerous times before I kind of "got it", I basically must assess myself first, find out what my strengths and weaknesses are and then develop each area from the ground up. Check. Or what? Well ok, maybe I am not quite 100% certain just yet, but I am on my way to slowly understanding the process. It just seems like so much (time-consuming) work to sift through all of these layers of my psyche and one has to wonder, when will it end and do I really have to ponder this? 
I never claimed to be a great thinker, I mostly do things that come naturally to me, so when I attempted to perform the loving kindness exercise it really took me several trials, I could never remember what I was supposed to ask next and keeping my eyes open and reading the page seemed like I cheated. The exercise asked us to get our minds and bodies into a natural state of rest and mentally repeat four phrases for 10 minutes, among them asking to free all individuals from suffering, as well as for them to find sustained health, happiness and wholeness. Furthermore I was to offer assistance in the same aforementioned matters. I hate to even admit this, but I feel like I am not really any good in asking for the spiritual health and happiness of people I don't know. I felt like I was faking it, but I realize I wouldn’t feel this way if I did this for people I know. For some reason I find it hard to wrap my mind around the notion, that my fervently thinking about others will make a hill-a-bean a difference to them. I also did not feel much different at all after I was done, rather puzzled somehow and a little frustrated.
This is where my internal assessment comes in I believe, I can see exactly that while I am good at relaxing my mind and body (most of the time), and good at including people I know in my meditations, I am not developed enough yet in my spiritual journey to fully and wholeheartedly include strangers. I know that this is a matter of development and advance and will be attained with practice and time. I suppose I need to practice more and schedule times to advance my knowledge. I was especially enthralled to read about the peak experiences. Dacher (2006) states that peak experiences are fleeting and that if we want more of them we must revisit these situations, which will lead to a dependence upon outer sources for peak pleasure experiences. I drew personal parallels on this issue, I was reminded of my fitness and bodybuilding journey, I used to rely on competitions to give me the thrill and the sense of achievement I sought, I felt like I was at the height of my game yet, when a certain event had come and gone I felt empty and left out, flailing about without focus or goal. Once I understood this about myself I realized that I had to develop other parts of me that were thus far untapped. This is when I decided to return to school and truly learn about things that were interesting to me; I found that I am passionate about nutrition, health and  wellness. I am trying to further my level of education, as well as my understanding and spiritual well-being by engaging my mind and spirit, while continuing to train and pursue a fit life as part of a healthy regimen. Overall I am trying to round things out, in order to bring about human flourishing within myself.
So for the time being I am going to try and find more time for meditating, I will continue to practice mindfulness, I will engage myself in environmental issues near and dear to my heart, I will learn more about the nutritional aspects of health, I will share my knowledge with family and friends and with that I am sure that one day, once I round out my knowledge and affirm my own spiritual self, I can and will find fulfillment in asking in meditation for the well-being, happiness and health of anyone on Earth.

 All at the same time: Beautiful Rainbows...

...and fiery skies!

 Dunja :)

References:

Dacher, E. S. (2006). Integral health: The path to human flourishing. Laguna Beach: Basic Health Publications Inc. 

Subtle Mind Practice (U5)

Holy Cow!! This weeks' audio exercise was actually really fun and relaxing! If I sound surprised to you then that must be because I quite frankly was, I didn't expect to be so relaxed and refreshed upon finishing the practice.
We were instructed to begin by relaxing and focusing on taking deep breaths, acknowledging passing thoughts, yet making ourselves return to our "anchor", being our breaths.  Once we found our mind relaxing we were to ease up on the focus on the breath and I found that at this point in my practice the other noises around me had faded in the background, quite a feat as I had kids watching TV, my husband playing computer games and my dog tossing his toy around. I somehow found myself really tuned in and mindful in a subtle way. It felt like what was going around me registered, but somehow didn't effect me significantly in that I did not think about it, or debate it, or mind it - in one word I felt peaceful.
Admittedly, when it comes to thoughts I am a "clinger", not a "witness" - it is second nature to me to debate every issue and thought in my life, an obstacle in terms of trying to become more centered and balanced. Today I felt for the first time though that it is actually possible to let go of thoughts and not let them affect me too deeply, rather to witness than to involve myself. In the end I felt so relaxed and almost questioned whether I was awake or sleeping during the exercise. In contrast to last week's loving kindness exercise I found that I was much more relaxed, because I was not asked to constantly evaluate something or replace thoughts, in fact I was only asked to let go of my thoughts, focus on my breathing and to still my mind, which I was fully able to do. The subtle mind practice was much more my style in terms of meditations, when I think of meditating I want to quiet my always busy mind and bring my body to a state of rest. In comparison to last weeks' exercise, I did not feel as if I was a failure this week to describe it rather dramatically.

I feel that my personal spiritual wellness had been neglected for a long time, partially due to a lack of knowledge. These days I realize that my mental and physical wellness very much hinges upon my spiritual well-being, I attain spiritual well-being not only by meditating, but also through the experienced happiness and wholeness in my family and marriage, through taking time for myself by reading books, and through the interaction with good friends. In taking care of my spiritual needs I have found it easier to function and thrive physically and with that I am much more sharp, yet at ease mentally. These three aspects truly belong together for me, I am glad to have realized this a while ago.

My mind felt like this today...

Dunja :)

A Mental Workout (U4)

I am very familiar with workouts, but rather the physical kind and not so much the mental variety.

The concept behind a "mental workout" is the continued practicing (training) of our brains to achieve a state of higher consciousness and with that improved healing capacities, therefore to benefit human flourishing. The benefits range from more personal compassion to peace and calm, delight and happiness, creativity, wisdom and compassion. To achieve these attributes one should get in the habit of practicing loving kindness daily, for example by engaging in meditation and periods of mindfulness.

Dunja :)